If MLB Speeds Up Game Play Does That Mean There Will Be Less “Ball Play”?

This is my blog…I keep trying to remind myself that I CAN make ANY kind of posts to it that I’d like. They don’t ALL have to relate to “news”. This morning, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

So, The Blaze posted this story last night: Major League Baseball Announced It Will Begin Testing These Six New Rules — and Some Fans Aren’t Too Happy“.

I was going to post a comment on The Blaze. Instead, I’m posting it here. About as many people will interact with what I have to say here as they are allowed to do on The Blaze. In other words: No one will interact with me. (If The Blaze would put DISQUS comments on their site then their commenters could interact. But they don’t, so we can’t. Although, given the low-brow mentality of many of the commenters there, I’m probably happiest as it is now – with NO interaction with commenters on The Blaze.)

Oh yeah…back to baseball…

I’d love to be interested in watching baseball again. It would help if the games weren’t 3-4 hours long and “DVR unfriendly”. I can watch an entire 3 1/2-4 hr football game in 40 minutes on my DVR (there are REGULARLY 20-30 seconds in between each and every 4-6 second play). I regularly record and watch at least 12 football games each weekend – 6 college games on Saturday and 6 NFL games on Sunday – sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on scheduling.

I love baseball…but, damn, I haven’t even bothered to record a regular season game for about 5 years now. I got sick of seeing all of all the spitting and “scratching” in between plays. SPEEDING UP THE GAME OF BASEBALL SOUNDS GREAT TO ME! More game play = less spitting and “ball play” by the players. On camera, that is. They’ll still do it, I just won’t have to see it in between the plays on the field. (I dare you to write this and avoid all the double entendres.)

If they’d put some sort of uniform time limit on the action between plays during MLB games, I wouldn’t be so adverse to watching all the spitting and “ball play”…er…I mean “game play”. I could eliminate it by jumping ahead on my DVR. As it is now, I could go to a local construction site and watch classier men behaving properly in public.

As a female, I MUST ASK any male readers:

What the HELL is going on down there that causes baseball players to CONSTANTLY have to “lift up” and/or “readjust” their genitals? My goodness…NFL players don’t do that (constantly, like MLB players do). UFC fighters don’t do that (unless they get cracked in the nuts – because we all know that rattling around an “injured” part of your body ALWAYS makes it feel better…whatever).

What the hell is it about standing on a field for 3-4 hours that causes a guy to feel the need to “address” the position of his balls every time he is on camera? I’m being totally serious here…I asked my dad a similar question one time and he really didn’t appreciate it.

Seriously though, I want to know…what’s the problem down there?

Why can’t MLB players keep their hands off their junk?

Is this a problem that baby powder could fix?

If any MAN chooses to reply with a rational reason, thank you. For any “new male tweeners” that will be pissed off that I asked, I’ll just block you and remove your nasty comment…don’t waste your time leaving a comment. Even though I’m a gay female, I DO know the difference between a “man” and a “male”…probably better so than do most of the straight women I know who are in relationships with “males” (not “men”). (Which, OK, now I’ve pissed all of them off too. Hey, these “non-news” posts sure are fun, aren’t they?)

Yes. They can be.

Reference materials for the cranially-challenged:

October 24, 1993: Spitting: A Tough Baseball Tradition to Shake
August 20, 2014: What MLB Can Learn From Little League Baseball

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About Shelly Dankert

Unrepentant Conservative blogger.
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